FACE CULTURE

I had never heard the expression 'face culture' before a friend used it to describe the people in his hometown. Apparently it means the common practice of telling someone what you think they want to hear whether or not you mean it or believe it. I've experienced this but had never known there was an anthropological term for it.

How many times have you been greeted by a friend with, "Hi. You look great!" You might have just come from a round of chemo therapy or a four day, alcoholic binge and you look like something the cat dragged in but your friend tells you that you look great. Or there's the ubiquitous remark, "Have a nice day" when you really don't care if someone has a nice day or gets hit by a bus. This is face culture at its most benign. At one time or another we've all been victims or perpetrators of it.

It could be said that these niceties hold the fabric of society together. We ingratiate ourselves to others by these remarks. Conversely you could say that deceit and hypocrisy are the unmaking of social order. If we can't believe what our own friends tell us, then who can we believe. OK, so I've taken it to the extreme but why don't we all stop saying things we don't mean? Where's the harm in that? I wouldn't mind a little less face culture.