GRATITUDE

Thank you, V. Your appreciation of my work means a great deal to me. As my friend, producer and mentor, Bones Howe once told me, 'It takes courage to be happy in this world.'

Be courageous.

Cheryl

PAINTING NATURE

Examples of my botanical paintings going back to the 1990's.

THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE

I saw the second film in the Millennium Trilogy. It followed the book almost flawlessly.

A SIMPLE FORMULA

I've found that the quickest way to make people dislike you is to assume an attitude of superiority. The easiest way to make them like you is to show interest in them; who they are, what they think and do. This is only relevant if you care whether or not people like you.

READING, WRITING AND THE ARITHMETICS OF PUBLISHING

I'm overwhelmed every time I walk into a bookstore at the number of books published every year. It's a daunting task getting a book published. Even Jane Austen couldn't get Pride and Prejudice in print until her father paid for the first publication. My brother, Duane Ernst, was a great letter writer. He had studied English literature at the University of Chicago and later at UC Berkeley. He was the best read person I'd ever known and was capable of turning a bon mot. I asked him once why he didn't write prose and his response baffled me. He said that there was no point since anything he wrote would never be published. He died at fifty and all I have are a few letters from him which I treasure. I know how he felt now. I hope one day when I've 'thinned out' as Woody Allen put it, my sons and nieces will be happy to have what I put down on paper as something other than memories to remember me by.

THE STIEG LARRSON TRILOGY

I've finished reading all three books. I went through a day of withdrawals when I put them on the book shelf. While I don't think Larsson was a great, sometimes not even a good writer, I will miss Lisbeth Salander. Like Steinbeck's Tom Joad or Ludlum's Jason Bourne, Larsson's Lisbeth Salander gives the reader a sense of righteousness by association.

The Swedish film of the second book comes to Colorado Springs on the 29th. I hope that it's as good as the first film.

WARRIOR NATION

With the exception of a few years respite, my country has been involved in one war or another since I was one year old. 1950-1953 Korean War. 1957-1973 U. S. in Cambodia, Laos and war in Vietnam. 1983 Invasion of Grenada. 1983-1988 Iran Contra Affair. 1989 Invasion of Panama. 1989-1991 First Gulf War. In 1993 Soldiers killed during relief mission in Somalia. 1994-1995 Haiti. 1999 Kosovo. 2003-? Invasion of Iraq. 2001-2021 Afghanistan. I've left out the cold war with Russia and China and the Cuban Missile Crisis. When will this blood lust end?

D.S.W. by C.E.W.

unabashed love

OLD SCHOOL IN THE AGE OF FACEBOOK

As a writer, trying to build a platform on facebook is like spitting in the ocean. If he were alive today, would Faulkner tweet?

Reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

The Swedish film version of Stieg Larsson's, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo inspired me to buy the books that make up the trilogy. The hype has been so overwhelming about the author, his life, his writing and his untimely death. I've finished the first book and I'm about to launch into the second. While I found the characters compelling enough to forge ahead with the reading, had I not seen the film and knew what was coming, I might have shelved the book for another, more patient day. I thought the story got bogged down several times in the minutia of the publishing and financial industries. Germane, certainly, but wearying at times.

During my viewing of the film, a woman in the theater shouted, "Yeah!" when Lisbeth took her revenge on Bjurman. My friend said he felt like a willing participant in her violent attack against him. Salander is the great avenger. Without remorse, she commits violence against the violent. It's been said by others that she's a heroine for our times. Scary thought given her anti social behavior and capacity for brutality. But she's smart and calculating and capable of carrying out a plan under incredible stress. She's almost completely shut down emotionally and maybe that's what makes her so effective in her ability to take revenge. These must be qualities a lot of people admire but lack.

While I loved the film, I can't say that I loved the book. I know that puts me in a small, worldwide minority. I have one, possibly silly question: Why are people always making, drinking or talking about making and drinking coffee in the book? Is this leading somewhere in the next book or is this just a Swedish thing?

SPRING AT LAST

It felt as though Spring would never come. Then I woke up and looked out my bedroom window and the lilacs had bloomed.

FACE CULTURE

I had never heard the expression 'face culture' before a friend used it to describe the people in his hometown. Apparently it means the common practice of telling someone what you think they want to hear whether or not you mean it or believe it. I've experienced this but had never known there was an anthropological term for it.

How many times have you been greeted by a friend with, "Hi. You look great!" You might have just come from a round of chemo therapy or a four day, alcoholic binge and you look like something the cat dragged in but your friend tells you that you look great. Or there's the ubiquitous remark, "Have a nice day" when you really don't care if someone has a nice day or gets hit by a bus. This is face culture at its most benign. At one time or another we've all been victims or perpetrators of it.

It could be said that these niceties hold the fabric of society together. We ingratiate ourselves to others by these remarks. Conversely you could say that deceit and hypocrisy are the unmaking of social order. If we can't believe what our own friends tell us, then who can we believe. OK, so I've taken it to the extreme but why don't we all stop saying things we don't mean? Where's the harm in that? I wouldn't mind a little less face culture.

PAINTINGS BY CHERYL ERNST WELLS

Work from 2006 through 2008

MAY SUGGESTED READING

HARD TIMES or BLEAKHOUSE by Charles Dickens, B&N Classics Publishing

MIDDLESEX by Jeffrey Eugenides, Picador, Farrar, Straus and Giroux Publishers

FREAKONOMICS by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner, Harper Collins Publishers

Let me know what you think.

DEFINE SUCCESS FOR ME

Three years ago I decided to try my hand at writing a novel. I've been a professional songwriter since I was seventeen but I had never tried to write prose. In the ensuing three years I have written two novels, a novelette and a number of short stories. I love to write. I don't deceive myself into thinking that I'm a great writer, but I can tell an interesting story.

Four months ago I joined a writer's group here in Colorado Springs, as much for social reasons as for creative discourse. There is no critique process of our writing and most of our discussions involve marketing, social networking, blogging and self promotion. I don't have a problem with all of that, but we never discuss the creative process, that elusive spark that drives us to put word to paper. I feel like we're putting the cart before the horse in these meetings and I'm thinking of quitting.

All my creative efforts have been born out of a need for self expression, narcissistic as that may seem. A fellow writer said that we never know when our creative endeavors will inspire another person to begin their own creative search. To me, that would be my greatest success. While I'm not against recognition or monetary reward for creative work, I feel these should never be the impetus for creativity. I'm not suggesting art for art's sake, but writing simply to make a buck or see your name in print is cheap. It's word pollution and the world is awash in that these days. I choose to embrace the idea that my writing is like the sound of one hand clapping and if a breath of air flows from it then I've succeeded.

NEW LOOK, MORE CONTENT

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown is in the fight for his political position. His off record remarks caught on microphone calling a long time, Labor Party supporter a 'racist' have him in even deeper trouble. The supporter was complaining about the flood of Eastern European immigrants to Britain.

My Czech friend went to work in England as caretaker to an elderly lady. The salary she could make in British pounds was far superior to what she could make in Czech korunas back home. Can anyone really blame her for wanting to prosper? Can anyone really blame the British citizens for being angry at jobs being taken away from British nationals? When I was in Vienna in 2006 I sat in the Sudbahnhoff train station listening to a young man from Romania tell me about his recent experience in Italy. He had been working illegally in construction there. When the project was finished, the contractor refused to pay him knowing the young man had no legal recourse. He had to go home to his family empty handed after months of separation.

We see the recent law passed in Arizona. Clearly it's racist but can anyone blame the people of Arizona who support the law for their concerns over illegal immigrants. The point I am trying to make is that this issue is not black and white. There are good people on both sides of the argument. We have to come up with solutions that don't vilify either side. Cracking down on employers who knowingly hire illegal immigrants is part of the solution. Stronger border monitoring is another. Forcing Mexico to enforce their borders and penalizing them somehow for not doing so would help. But forcing people with brown skin to show papers is not the answer. Blaming European Union citizens for taking advantage of the rights they're now entitled to is not the answer. Cheating poor, desperate people who take desperate measures to feed their families is not the answer either. I think part of the answer is to see ourselves in others and think of the world as one nation. Perhaps if we did, appropriate solutions would follow.

From THE SINGING FOUNTAIN by C.E.Wells

'Life is very unpredictable,' as Maria had said. That's what makes it so wonderful. Love enriches us all, even if it hurts. And although life doesn't always have a happy ending, your chances of one are better if you hope it will than if you suspect it won't.

For Dorian.

C.E.W.

PHOTOGRAPHS OF PARIS 2009

The City of Light

ARTWORK BY PAUL WELLS

Four examples

ARTWORK BY DORIAN SEBASTIAN WELLS

Retrospective

PAINTINGS BY CHERYL ERNST WELLS

Shameless self-promotion

CREATIVE INSECURITY

Does any artist know when their work is  good?  Aren't we all insecure and full of self-doubt? I've flattered myself that I've done good work before but with time and distance from it I recognize my mediocrity. It's tough to be honest with yourself about your creative work. 

Then again, what does it really matter? It makes me think of a great scene from the movie, Julia based on Lillian Hellman's short story. (Apologies to the screenwriter but I'm paraphrasing here). While trying to write her first play The Children's Hour, Lillian says to her lover Dashiell Hammett, "I think I'll give up writing. It's too hard." He replies, "This is a good time to stop. No one will miss you." 

Of course she didn't stop, thank goodness, and dammit, neither will I. And neither should you.

MURAKAMI, DU MAURIER & SOMERSET MAUGHAM

My February Reading List Recommendations

For thrills:

Kafka On The Shore by Haruki Murakami (Vintage International)

For elegance:

Ashenden by W. Somerset Maugham (Doubleday & CO)

For great story telling:

Don't Look Now by Daphne Du Maurier (New York Review Books)

Let me know what you think.  CEW

ANOTHER YEAR GONE

I've reached the age where people say things like, 'Getting older beats the alternative'.  None of us really knows if getting older beats the alternative but I'm willing to take it on faith. Despite the physical ravages of time (thank goodness I'm not vain or I would be a basket case) there are so many good things about being 61. Minor insults or disrespect from strangers rolls off of me without ruining my day, I don't get the blues as often as I used to, and  I can see through bull**** quicker. I love the people I love more deeply and can look beyond the moment to the greater scheme of things.

True, there's a certain desperation that comes with getting older. Since the days are a diminishing return I feel the need to pack as much living into each one as I can. I have to live with the aching knowledge that I squandered my young years on fruitless pursuits and now those years are gone forever. But, since I believe that the only reason to revisit the past is to inform the future, I hope that I can fashion something of value from the years I have left.

So here's to getting older and hopefully wiser. To hell with the wrinkles!

CHRISTMAS 2009

The family gathered in Los Angeles as we have almost every year since the kids were babies. 

As the decades pass our numbers grow smaller, but the one's we've lost are never forgotten.

REMEMBERING CHRISTMAS 2006

Journal entries:

•December 24, 2006•

A traditional Czech Christmas dinner includes a baked carp. Two men have set up a table on the corner of our busy street. They have big, beautiful live carp in water filled troughs and people line up to buy them. The men pull the fish out by the tail then smash them over the head with a heavy wooden mallet. It's horrible. On and on it goes. Thud, thud, thud. It makes me think of that old Beatles song, bang, bang Maxwell's silver hammer came down on their heads. Puts me right off fish.

Two blocks from our apartment is the Flora, a three story shopping mall, lavishly decorated and full of shoppers. Credit cards are a fairly new phenomenon here so now the Czechs can dig themselves into debt with the rest of us. It's a real sign of prosperity when people can buy what they can't afford.

•December 25, 2006•

Today we went to a cousin's house for a couple of hours. She made sandwiches and cookies and that was our Christmas dinner. It was just the three of us. Now I know how lonely the holidays are for people without family. One year in Oakland I decided not to make Thanksgiving dinner and we went to a restaurant instead. I remember feeling so sad to see people eating a restaurant turkey dinner alone. To me the holidays are about family together telling funny and touching stories about years passed and remembering loved ones who are gone. 

So this was our Prague Christmas. Pretty dismal. But Christmas, like paying taxes, comes every year and there will be others.